from huliia:stuff on kinks and sex negativity
hmmm this is something I’ve noticed but no one ever stands up against the mockery of fetishes. I see it on Tumblr from time to time (I have a pretty nice Tumblr though, most people are good about this) and mocking is pretty common on TV especially. I hate watching the TV and being assaulted with sex being used to sell things, but then tons of value judgments being thrown around that are completely sex negative. It’s arbitrary and that makes it very hurtful. Things like BDSM constantly being treated as a punchline or absurd so it’s funny. Like check out your douchebag boss he totally likes being gagged on all fours!! ha ha ha cool now you, “nice guy” protagonist can blackmail him into being nice to you yeah awesome. (sorry, I use that example a lot but I’ve seen it twice in movies now and I always feel bad about it because… dang you invaded someone’s privacy and now you’re gonna use something as sensitive and private as sexuality to embarrass them idk he’s mean but you’re no better now). But that’s the point, I mean all paraphilias and kinks are pretty sensitive and I mean if you’re attracted to feet why do you have to be laughed at when it’s not on a neurological level so different from being attracted to breasts. Sexual arousal from breasts ISN’T a naturally inherent human response fyi, it’s a widely common fetish that stems from the taboo of nudity. Anthropologically, in cultures where women are bare-breasted, sexual attraction to breasts is not common and seen as unusual.
There’s no inherent moral value attached to arousal, it’s how you address it and where empathy comes into play (this is especially important for people who have paraphilias that would harm themselves or others if acted upon). All that matters morally and ethically is empathy and being able to treat yourself and people respectfully. Getting over sex-negativity and rehabilitating my sex education has been super super helpful in helping me deal with emotional issues and anxiety regarding morality (I have scrupulosity OCD but I’m secular so adequate self-help is really hard to find ah…). Outside of mental issues, really understanding sex-positivity has made me an even more understanding person so I wanted to share since most people here are young and good sex education is important. I want to link to this blog!! It’s a lot of fun to follow and it’s a really good place to re-educate yourself in sex-ed.
Anyway, this isn’t to shame anyone that has made fun of paraphilias or to make anyone feel bad for doing it. Just letting people know there is way to feel about this kind of thing that might jive with you better emotionally. When I was younger I might have been one to laugh too but I owe a lot of peace of mind and personal growth to better understanding the nature of sexuality without the knee-jerk reactions and it’s definitely made me feel safer so I thought I’d share.
Ok! I really want to start using this regularly, so I’m gonna warm up posting some of my old doodles and stuff and keep going from there.
Why the need of that? cause my mind is that sharp º.^D
I feel so relieved about drawing right now. I feel like there’s hope. And I enjoyed drawing that picture from earlier. Usually, drawing is pretty tedious for me. A couple of people have been like, how do you even draw if you don’t like it? I dunno. It’s just a thing inside you, I guess. You have to do it. It’s way better when you do enjoy it, and like aspects of what you created, though. I won’t get too excited, because that smells like a jinx. But. You know. It’s a nice feeling.
I’m also a perfectionist, whatever I do is never enough.
The realistic is not real enough,
cartoonish is not appealing enough,
any message, mood, or idea is not clear enough,
many times it takes the role of a bad justification for procrastination,
and when even with his flaws I like something, I’m somehow scared of not being taken seriously.
For fuck’s sake, I even wanted to say something nice, and surely true, before this to encourage you, but I felt like playing chess while someone putting a gun on my head!
The way insane perfectionism feels aren’t fresh news, but I think the way to approach it is..
..to grab by the neck that inner-fears-shaped freak, with as many hands as that vile hydra needs, and politely explain that he could be a part of you, but you are gonna use him as a tool to do things, to do them better each time, without letting him drown you into his exuded miasma of sorrow, there is nothing to do about it.
Of course, there he will await for a bad day to rip away your guts again, but we will have another gab and then keep going, because those thing happen.
..fancy metaphors aside, perfectionism should be the desire to be aware of your mistakes to properly measure them and evolve, not a self-enhanced blunting handicap.
Speaking of which, that previous pic was really cool, no wonder why do you enjoyed making it.
I mean it. Keep the good work.
You, my dear tumblrbot. ;p