stuff on kinks and sex negativity
hmmm this is something I’ve noticed but no one ever stands up against the mockery of fetishes. I see it on Tumblr from time to time (I have a pretty nice Tumblr though, most people are good about this) and mocking is pretty common on TV especially. I hate watching the TV and being assaulted with sex being used to sell things, but then tons of value judgments being thrown around that are completely sex negative. It’s arbitrary and that makes it very hurtful. Things like BDSM constantly being treated as a punchline or absurd so it’s funny. Like check out your douchebag boss he totally likes being gagged on all fours!! ha ha ha cool now you, “nice guy” protagonist can blackmail him into being nice to you yeah awesome. (sorry, I use that example a lot but I’ve seen it twice in movies now and I always feel bad about it because… dang you invaded someone’s privacy and now you’re gonna use something as sensitive and private as sexuality to embarrass them idk he’s mean but you’re no better now). But that’s the point, I mean all paraphilias and kinks are pretty sensitive and I mean if you’re attracted to feet why do you have to be laughed at when it’s not on a neurological level so different from being attracted to breasts. Sexual arousal from breasts ISN’T a naturally inherent human response fyi, it’s a widely common fetish that stems from the taboo of nudity. Anthropologically, in cultures where women are bare-breasted, sexual attraction to breasts is not common and seen as unusual.
There’s no inherent moral value attached to arousal, it’s how you address it and where empathy comes into play (this is especially important for people who have paraphilias that would harm themselves or others if acted upon). All that matters morally and ethically is empathy and being able to treat yourself and people respectfully. Getting over sex-negativity and rehabilitating my sex education has been super super helpful in helping me deal with emotional issues and anxiety regarding morality (I have scrupulosity OCD but I’m secular so adequate self-help is really hard to find ah…). Outside of mental issues, really understanding sex-positivity has made me an even more understanding person so I wanted to share since most people here are young and good sex education is important. I want to link to this blog!! It’s a lot of fun to follow and it’s a really good place to re-educate yourself in sex-ed.
Anyway, this isn’t to shame anyone that has made fun of paraphilias or to make anyone feel bad for doing it. Just letting people know there is way to feel about this kind of thing that might jive with you better emotionally. When I was younger I might have been one to laugh too but I owe a lot of peace of mind and personal growth to better understanding the nature of sexuality without the knee-jerk reactions and it’s definitely made me feel safer so I thought I’d share.